Thursday, March 9, 2017
Ezek. 12:14-26, 23:25; Ps. 138; Matthew 7:7-12
A number of years ago, I somehow contracted endocarditis, a viral infection of my mitral heart valve. I entered Memorial Hospital on July 1st with flu-like symptoms and a numb leg, thinking I had had a stroke, when actually a bit of the infection had dislodged and blocked an artery in my left leg. While there, a cardiologist came to see me whom I didn’t know and diagnosed the endocarditis based on slim evidence. A week later I was moved to Tampa General to await valve replacement surgery, during which they pumped me with antibiotics. About one month after I went into the hospital, I was released with a new porcine heart valve.
While I was at the hospital, I learned some things about myself and God, both related. First and foremost, I was not in control. I did not pick a cardiologist, yet the correct one show up. The cardiologist took control, and as I now understand it, he saved my life. I didn’t think things were that bad until it was all over.
I also had no control in the hospital – the doctors and nurses did. But at the same time, what I learned was that, though God was in control, I needed to let Him be so. I realized this sometime after this was over, but, in retrospect, I think had I known to let Him lead, I would have been much more at peace with the whole affair.
So I leave you with this thought – no matter how much you want to be, you are not in control. The more you let God control, the greater the peace you will obtain.