You Are Not in Control

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Ezek. 12:14-26, 23:25; Ps. 138; Matthew 7:7-12 


A number of years ago, I somehow contracted endocarditis, a viral infection of my mitral heart valve.  I entered Memorial Hospital on July 1st with flu-like symptoms and a numb leg, thinking I had had a stroke, when actually a bit of the infection had dislodged and blocked an artery in my left leg.  While there, a cardiologist came to see me whom I didn’t know and diagnosed the endocarditis based on slim evidence.  A week later I was moved to Tampa General to await valve replacement surgery, during which they pumped me with antibiotics.  About one month after I went into the hospital, I was released with a new porcine heart valve.

While I was at the hospital, I learned some things about myself and God, both related.  First and foremost, I was not in control.  I did not pick a cardiologist, yet the correct one show up.  The cardiologist took control, and as I now understand it, he saved my life.  I didn’t think things were that bad until it was all over.

I also had no control in the hospital – the doctors and nurses did.  But at the same time, what I learned was that, though God was in control, I needed to let Him be so.  I realized this sometime after this was over, but, in retrospect, I think had I known to let Him lead, I would have been much more at peace with the whole affair.

So I leave you with this thought – no matter how much you want to be, you are not in control.  The more you let God control, the greater the peace you will obtain.

—Scott McClelland